- Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Gott sprach, es werde Licht. Chuck Norris antwortet: Sag Bitte!

- Chuck Norris invented water.

Hi,
aber nicht zum Trinken, sondern nur, um sein Kampfgebiet zu vergrößern.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHL7EewhO0o

Gruß
Scipio

- Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

- One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

- Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

- Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

- Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

- Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

- In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full.

-Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

- Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

- After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

- Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

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